Traylor Lovvorn and Jerry discuss the struggles of a Christian man including sexual brokenness and how it all connects with authentic manhood.
Authentic Manhood – Struggles of a Christian Man
Pornography and lust are part of the struggles of a Christian man. Society tells us that manly men must have sexual conquests. What we really desire is connection and permission to have an identity of authentic manhood.
Christian men are not immune to divorce. We are not even immune to sexual addiction. Jerry has shared that he was exposed to pornography at the age of seven years old. While he tried to justify his porn stash to his wife, it was sending a clear message to her that she was not enough for him. This tension was bringing him to the trust that he was experiencing sexual brokenness.
Fortunately, Jerry was able to find a lot of what Traylor talks about in this episode, community among Christian men, strength to be weak in front of his spouse and godly men, and exposing the secret he had been trying to keep all those years.
Traylor Lovvorn – Undone Redone
Their divorce didn’t work out. That is what Traylor Lovvorn tells people today when they ask about his marriage.
Traylor was undone by his addiction to pornography. His 11-year marriage ended in sexual brokenness. The appearance of being a “perfect Christian man” fell apart all around him, and he was left only with what would bring him to authentic manhood.
Six years into their divorce, reconciliation brought Tray and Mel back together and they remarried. Their platform Undone Redone now helps men search for what it means to be a godly man and how to deal with the trauma of betrayal. At the time of this episode, they have been remarried for eleven years, so 11-6-11 and counting!
They have dedicated their second marriage to ministering to those who face the struggles of a Christian man and helping marriages thrive through their weaknesses.
3:50 What is Undone Redone?
5:18 Why do men wait until a crisis hits instead of maintenance?
6:30 Dealing with shame – pornography addiction, sexual brokenness
10:20 Cheer up, you’re much worse off than you think! – Authentic manhood
14:05 Facing the facade and having permission to feel the full range of emotions
17:10 Practical tips for Christian men – community
20:23 Best way to connect with Tray from Undone Redone
24:28 Closing remarks
Resources and Links
Since some of these links are affiliate links, where at no additional cost to you Beyond the Rut may receive a commission if you buy using these links, here is our affiliate disclosure to keep our I’s dotted and T’s crossed.
Other Resources from Route1520
Route1520.com is a recovery and restoration initiative that provides hope and help for men impacted by sexual brokenness and addiction.
LifeBeyondBetrayal.com is an online program that helps women process many of the devastating emotions that follow betrayal so that you can heal and move from surviving to thriving again.
EMBARK Men’s Recovery Intensive is a 4-day intensive for men struggling with the root issues that are driving unwanted sexual behavior. EMBARK provides hope and healing for men who have been stuck in a cycle of shame and defeat for years by showing them the path out of the isolation that leads to lasting change.
Other Resources Related to This Episode
Get a copy and read The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge. This is the book referenced by Tray in this episode.
Covenant Eyes is a security platform used by Jerry for added security and accountability against the draw of pornography.
Download a FREE copy of Measure It to Make It and #MakeYourOwnPath to live the life you always dreamed of living.
Listen to these past episodes:
- How to Keep Your Marriage Alive with This Missing Ingredient – BtR 171
- How to be Authentic as a Man in Today’s Society with Oscar Banks – BtR 149
- Ty Foster – How to Use GPS to Find Your Passion and Life Purpose, BtR 065
- Jackie Bledsoe on the 7 Rings of Marriage BtR 047
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