Traylor Lovvorn and Jerry discuss the struggles of a Christian man including sexual brokenness and how it all connects with authentic manhood.
Authentic Manhood – Struggles of a Christian Man
Pornography and lust are part of the struggles of a Christian man. Society tells us that manly men must have sexual conquests. What we really desire is connection and permission to have an identity of authentic manhood.
Christian men are not immune to divorce. We are not even immune to sexual addiction. Jerry has shared that he was exposed to pornography at the age of seven years old. While he tried to justify his porn stash to his wife, it was sending a clear message to her that she was not enough for him. This tension was bringing him to the trust that he was experiencing sexual brokenness.
Fortunately, Jerry was able to find a lot of what Traylor talks about in this episode, community among Christian men, strength to be weak in front of his spouse and godly men, and exposing the secret he had been trying to keep all those years.
Traylor Lovvorn – Undone Redone
Their divorce didn’t work out. That is what Traylor Lovvorn tells people today when they ask about his marriage.
Traylor was undone by his addiction to pornography. His 11-year marriage ended in sexual brokenness. The appearance of being a “perfect Christian man” fell apart all around him, and he was left only with what would bring him to authentic manhood.
Six years into their divorce, reconciliation brought Tray and Mel back together and they remarried. Their platform Undone Redone now helps men search for what it means to be a godly man and how to deal with the trauma of betrayal. At the time of this episode, they have been remarried for eleven years, so 11-6-11 and counting!
They have dedicated their second marriage to ministering those who face the struggles of a Christian man, and help marriages thrive through their weaknesses.
3:50 What is Undone Redone?
5:18 Why do men wait until a crisis hits instead of maintenance?
6:30 Dealing with shame – pornography addiction, sexual brokenness
10:20 Cheer up, you’re much worse off than you think! – Authentic manhood
14:05 Facing the facade and having permission to feel the full range of emotions
17:10 Practical tips for Christian men – community
20:23 Best way to connect with Tray from Undone Redone
24:28 Closing remarks
Resources and Links
Since some of these links are affiliate links, where at no additional cost to you Beyond the Rut may receive a commission if you buy using these links, here is our affiliate disclosure to keep our I’s dotted and T’s crossed.
Other Resources from Undone Redone
MySecureFamily.com is Undone Redone’s prevention and protection initiative to help equip and educate parents and grandparents to effectively engage the hearts of their kids and grandkids in today’s technological landscape.
Route1520.com is Undone Redone’s recovery and restoration initiative that provides hope and help for men and women and families impacted by sexual brokenness and betrayal trauma.
LifeBeyondBetrayal.com is an online program that helps women process many of the devastating emotions that follow betrayal so that you can heal and move from surviving to thriving again.
EMBARK Men’s Recovery Intensive (http://www.undoneredone.com/
Other Resources Related to This Episode
Get a copy and read The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge. This is the book referenced by Tray in this episode.
Covenant Eyes is a security platform used by Jerry for added security and accountability against the draw of pornography.
Sign up for Podcast Movement 2020, PodcastMovement.com/2020
Download a FREE copy of Measure It to Make It and #MakeYourOwnPath to living the life you always dreamed of living.
Listen to these past episodes:
- How to Keep Your Marriage Alive with This Missing Ingredient – BtR 171
- How to be Authentic as a Man in Today’s Society with Oscar Banks – BtR 149
- Ty Foster – How to Use GPS to Find Your Passion and Life Purpose, BtR 065
- Jackie Bledsoe on the 7 Rings of Marriage BtR 047
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