Authentic Manhood, Sexual Brokenness and Other Struggles of a Christian Man – Traylor Lovvorn – BtR 190

Authentic Manhood, Sexual Brokenness and Other Struggles of a Christian Man – Traylor Lovvorn – BtR 190

Traylor Lovvorn and Jerry discuss the struggles of a Christian man including sexual brokenness and how it all connects with authentic manhood.

authentic manhood

Authentic Manhood – Struggles of a Christian Man

Pornography and lust are part of the struggles of a Christian man. Society tells us that manly men must have sexual conquests. What we really desire is connection and permission to have an identity of authentic manhood.

Christian men are not immune to divorce. We are not even immune to sexual addiction. Jerry has shared that he was exposed to pornography at the age of seven years old. While he tried to justify his porn stash to his wife, it was sending a clear message to her that she was not enough for him. This tension was bringing him to the trust that he was experiencing sexual brokenness.

Fortunately, Jerry was able to find a lot of what Traylor talks about in this episode, community among Christian men, strength to be weak in front of his spouse and godly men, and exposing the secret he had been trying to keep all those years.

struggles of a Christian man
Jerry and Tray in the Buzzsprout booth at Podcast Movement 2019 recording this episode.

Traylor Lovvorn – Undone Redone

Their divorce didn’t work out. That is what Traylor Lovvorn tells people today when they ask about his marriage.

Traylor was undone by his addiction to pornography. His 11-year marriage ended in sexual brokenness. The appearance of being a “perfect Christian man” fell apart all around him, and he was left only with what would bring him to authentic manhood

Six years into their divorce, reconciliation brought Tray and Mel back together and they remarried. Their platform Undone Redone now helps men search for what it means to be a godly man and how to deal with the trauma of betrayal. At the time of this episode, they have been remarried for eleven years, so 11-6-11 and counting!

They have dedicated their second marriage to ministering those who face the struggles of a Christian man, and help marriages thrive through their weaknesses.

Listen to the entire story here

undone redone
Tray and Mel. (Left) Their first wedding in 1992. (Right) Their second wedding after a failed divorce in 2008.

Episode Timestamps

3:50 What is Undone Redone?

5:18 Why do men wait until a crisis hits instead of maintenance?

6:30 Dealing with shame – pornography addiction, sexual brokenness

10:20 Cheer up, you’re much worse off than you think! – Authentic manhood

14:05 Facing the facade and having permission to feel the full range of emotions

17:10 Practical tips for Christian men – community

20:23 Best way to connect with Tray from Undone Redone

24:28 Closing remarks

Resources and Links

Since some of these links are affiliate links, where at no additional cost to you Beyond the Rut may receive a commission if you buy using these links, here is our affiliate disclosure to keep our I’s dotted and T’s crossed.

Traylor’s story was showcased in “The Heart of Man” documentary movie. Buy or rent the movie on Amazon (DVD/BluRay or Prime).

Visit for resources men and women on sexual brokenness, betrayal trauma, and authentic manhood. Check out their podcast Undone Redone on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Other Resources from Undone Redone is Undone Redone’s prevention and protection initiative to help equip and educate parents and grandparents to effectively engage the hearts of their kids and grandkids in today’s technological landscape. is Undone Redone’s recovery and restoration initiative that provides hope and help for men and women and families impacted by sexual brokenness and betrayal trauma. is an online program that helps women process many of the devastating emotions that follow betrayal so that you can heal and move from surviving to thriving again.

EMBARK Men’s Recovery Intensive ( is a 4-day intensive for men struggling with the root issues that are driving unwanted sexual behavior. EMBARK provides hope and healing for men who have been stuck in a cycle of shame and defeat for years by showing them the path out of the isolation that leads to lasting change.

Other Resources Related to This Episode

Get a copy and read The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge. This is the book referenced by Tray in this episode.

Covenant Eyes is a security platform used by Jerry for added security and accountability against the draw of pornography.

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Music Attribution

“Oceans Apart” is our theme song composed and performed by Scott Ian Holmes.

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