Marine Corps veteran, Ben Killoy, discusses the importance of dad coming home and being home and building a tribe of dad friends.

Dad Coming Home Needs Help

There is an adjustment needed when a military dad returns home from a deployment. Two different worlds collide in our heads. Just hours before walking through that front door with cheering family hugging you, kissing you, and expressing their happiness for your safe return, you were in a combat zone covered in dust, sweat, and filled with fatigue. In that combat zone, your life was in danger and your work was spent making sure you and your buddies returned from mission-after-mission safely. You relied on various levels of aggression and detachment. Now, it’s time to hang that up and adopt tenderness and connection.

What we just described is not solely felt by veterans. Professionals don their various uniforms every morning and spend more than a third of their days putting all their energy and efforts into other people. Dad coming home is typically someone drained of spirit. Rather than plugging right in with the spouse and kids, we would rather rest, zone out, and decompress. The result is growing isolation from the ones we love.

This episode of Beyond the Rut discusses with Military Veteran and dad, Ben Killoy, on the importance of men having close friendships and how to be the best dad coming home from deployment or work every day.

Ben Killoy – Military Veteran with a Dad Podcast

dad coming homeBen Killoy is a U.S. Marine Veteran turned blogger, life coach, speaker, and podcaster whose mission is to bring Military Veteran Dads home to their families. He resides in Janesville, WI, with his wife and three beautiful kids.

Ben went through what most transitioning veterans go through, the feeling of needing to redefine their identity outside of the structure of the military and rediscovering their passion and purpose for life. A seminar allowed him to discover his passion for leadership and helping other veterans and Dads be the best parents they can be. Since that seminar, he has been on a mission to use his passion for leadership to help dads understand who they are, develop their skills to overcome adversity, and own their life choices to enable them to truly come home to their families.

Ben’s podcast combines his own insights into his unique experiences with the military and fatherhood, along with interviews and discussions with other thought-leaders from around the world. Sharing both his successes and failures brings a more heart-centered approach to his podcast, enabling a deeper connection to his audience.

Ben is available for speaking engagements on the legacy of fatherhood, both online and in-person, and is more than happy to share his insights on other veteran’s podcasts.

It is the hope of Ben’s platform and message to help dads coming home and being home.

Resources and Links

Check out Ben’s website and podcast at

You can access the free course and get some great insights on how to create new friends, especially dad friends. Build your tribe.

Listen to these past episodes of Beyond the Rut related to fatherhood and family

BtR 228 – Fathering Together a Non-Profit to Encourage the Positive Role of Fathers

BtR 226 – Joel W Hawbaker Bringing Help for Blended Families

BtR 225 – On the Brighter Side of Marriage, Life, and Business – Monica Tanner

BtR 149 – How to be Authentic as a Man in Today’s Society with Oscar Banks

BtR 038 –  Vacation with Your Kids 1-on-1

Read 5 Tips on How to Be a Better Working Dad here at Beyond the Rut from guest blogger Leslie Campos of

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Music Attribution

“Oceans Apart” is our theme song composed and performed by Scott Ian Holmes.

Dad Coming Home Military Veteran Ben Killoy on Fatherhood – BtR 229
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